Hamlet

Hamlet

ACT III SCENE II	A hall in the castle.
	Enter HAMLET and Players
HAMLET	Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to
	you, trippingly on the tongue: but if you mouth it,
	as many of your players do, I had as lief the
	town-crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air	5
	too much with your hand, thus, but use all gently;
	for in the very torrent, tempest, and, as I may say,
	the whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and beget
	a temperance that may give it smoothness. O, it
	offends me to the soul to hear a robustious	10
	periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to
	very rags, to split the ears of the groundlings, who
	for the most part are capable of nothing but
	inexplicable dumbshows and noise: I would have such
	a fellow whipped for o'erdoing Termagant; it	15
	out-herods Herod: pray you, avoid it.
First Player	I warrant your honour.
HAMLET	Be not too tame neither, but let your own discretion
	be your tutor: suit the action to the word, the
	word to the action; with this special o'erstep not	20
	the modesty of nature: for any thing so overdone is
	from the purpose of playing, whose end, both at the
	first and now, was and is, to hold, as 'twere, the
	mirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature,
	scorn her own image, and the very age and body of	25
	the time his form and pressure. Now this overdone,
	or come tardy off, though it make the unskilful
	laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve; the
	censure of the which one must in your allowance
	o'erweigh a whole theatre of others. O, there be	30
	players that I have seen play, and heard others
	praise, and that highly, not to speak it profanely,
	that, neither having the accent of Christians nor
	the gait of Christian, pagan, nor man, have so
	strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of	35
	nature's journeymen had made men and not made them
	well, they imitated humanity so abominably.
First Player	I hope we have reformed that indifferently with us,
	sir.
HAMLET	O, reform it altogether. And let those that play	40
	your clowns speak no more than is set down for them;
	for there be of them that will themselves laugh, to
	set on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh
	too; though, in the mean time, some necessary
	question of the play be then to be considered:	45
	that's villanous, and shows a most pitiful ambition
	in the fool that uses it. Go, make you ready.
	Exeunt Players
	Enter POLONIUS, ROSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN
	How now, my lord! I will the king hear this piece of work?
LORD POLONIUS	And the queen too, and that presently.
HAMLET	Bid the players make haste.	50
	Exit POLONIUS
	Will you two help to hasten them?
ROSENCRANTZ	\|
	\| We will, my lord.
GUILDENSTERN	\|
	Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN
HAMLET	What ho! Horatio!	55
	Enter HORATIO
HORATIO	Here, sweet lord, at your service.
HAMLET	Horatio, thou art e'en as just a man
	As e'er my conversation coped withal.
HORATIO	O, my dear lord,--
HAMLET	Nay, do not think I flatter;	60
	For what advancement may I hope from thee
	That no revenue hast but thy good spirits,
	To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flatter'd?
	No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp,
	And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee	65
	Where thrift may follow fawning. Dost thou hear?
	Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice
	And could of men distinguish, her election
	Hath seal'd thee for herself; for thou hast been
	As one, in suffering all, that suffers nothing,	70
	A man that fortune's buffets and rewards
	Hast ta'en with equal thanks: and blest are those
	Whose blood and judgment are so well commingled,
	That they are not a pipe for fortune's finger
	To sound what stop she please. Give me that man	75
	That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him
	In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart,
	As I do thee.--Something too much of this.--
	There is a play to-night before the king;
	One scene of it comes near the circumstance	80
	Which I have told thee of my father's death:
	I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot,
	Even with the very comment of thy soul
	Observe mine uncle: if his occulted guilt
	Do not itself unkennel in one speech,	85
	It is a damned ghost that we have seen,
	And my imaginations are as foul
	As Vulcan's stithy. Give him heedful note;
	For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,
	And after we will both our judgments join	90
	In censure of his seeming.
HORATIO	Well, my lord:
	If he steal aught the whilst this play is playing,
	And 'scape detecting, I will pay the theft.
HAMLET	They are coming to the play; I must be idle:	95
	Get you a place.
	Danish march. A flourish. Enter KING CLAUDIUS,QUEEN GERTRUDE, POLONIUS, OPHELIA, ROSENCRANTZ,GUILDENSTERN, and others
KING CLAUDIUS	How fares our cousin Hamlet?
HAMLET	Excellent, i' faith; of the chameleon's dish: I eat
	the air, promise-crammed: you cannot feed capons so.
KING CLAUDIUS	I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet; these words	100
	are not mine.
HAMLET	No, nor mine now.
	To POLONIUS
	My lord, you played once i' the university, you say?
LORD POLONIUS	That did I, my lord; and was accounted a good actor.
HAMLET	What did you enact?	105
LORD POLONIUS	I did enact Julius Caesar: I was killed i' the
	Capitol; Brutus killed me.
HAMLET	It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf
	there. Be the players ready?
ROSENCRANTZ	Ay, my lord; they stay upon your patience.	110
QUEEN GERTRUDE	Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.
HAMLET	No, good mother, here's metal more attractive.
LORD POLONIUS	To KING CLAUDIUS
HAMLET	Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
	Lying down at OPHELIA's feet
OPHELIA	No, my lord.
HAMLET	I mean, my head upon your lap?	115
OPHELIA	Ay, my lord.
HAMLET	Do you think I meant country matters?
OPHELIA	I think nothing, my lord.
HAMLET	That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.
OPHELIA	What is, my lord?	120
HAMLET	Nothing.
OPHELIA	You are merry, my lord.
HAMLET	Who, I?
OPHELIA	Ay, my lord.
HAMLET	O God, your only jig-maker. What should a man do	125
	but be merry? for, look you, how cheerfully my
	mother looks, and my father died within these two hours.
OPHELIA	Nay, 'tis twice two months, my lord.
HAMLET	So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for
	I'll have a suit of sables. O heavens! die two	130
	months ago, and not forgotten yet? Then there's
	hope a great man's memory may outlive his life half
	a year: but, by'r lady, he must build churches,
	then; or else shall he suffer not thinking on, with
	the hobby-horse, whose epitaph is 'For, O, for, O,	135
	the hobby-horse is forgot.'
	Hautboys play. The dumb-show enters
	Enter a King and a Queen very lovingly; the Queenembracing him, and he her. She kneels, and makesshow of protestation unto him. He takes her up,and declines his head upon her neck: lays him downupon a bank of flowers: she, seeing him asleep,leaves him. An
	Exeunt
OPHELIA	What means this, my lord?
HAMLET	Marry, this is miching mallecho; it means mischief.
OPHELIA	Belike this show imports the argument of the play.
	Enter Prologue
HAMLET	We shall know by this fellow: the players cannot	140
	keep counsel; they'll tell all.
OPHELIA	Will he tell us what this show meant?
HAMLET	Ay, or any show that you'll show him: be not you
	ashamed to show, he'll not shame to tell you what it means.
OPHELIA	You are naught, you are naught: I'll mark the play.	145
Prologue	For us, and for our tragedy,
	Here stooping to your clemency,
	We beg your hearing patiently.
	Exit
HAMLET	Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?
OPHELIA	'Tis brief, my lord.	150
HAMLET	As woman's love.
	Enter two Players, King and Queen
Player King	Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round
	Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground,
	And thirty dozen moons with borrow'd sheen
	About the world have times twelve thirties been,	155
	Since love our hearts and Hymen did our hands
	Unite commutual in most sacred bands.
Player Queen	So many journeys may the sun and moon
	Make us again count o'er ere love be done!
	But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,	160
	So far from cheer and from your former state,
	That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,
	Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must:
	For women's fear and love holds quantity;
	In neither aught, or in extremity.	165
	Now, what my love is, proof hath made you know;
	And as my love is sized, my fear is so:
	Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;
	Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.
Player King	'Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too;	170
	My operant powers their functions leave to do:
	And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,
	Honour'd, beloved; and haply one as kind
	For husband shalt thou--
Player Queen	O, confound the rest!	175
	Such love must needs be treason in my breast:
	In second husband let me be accurst!
	None wed the second but who kill'd the first.
HAMLET	Aside
Player Queen	The instances that second marriage move
	Are base respects of thrift, but none of love:	180
	A second time I kill my husband dead,
	When second husband kisses me in bed.
Player King	I do believe you think what now you speak;
	But what we do determine oft we break.
	Purpose is but the slave to memory,	185
	Of violent birth, but poor validity;
	Which now, like fruit unripe, sticks on the tree;
	But fall, unshaken, when they mellow be.
	Most necessary 'tis that we forget
	To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt:	190
	What to ourselves in passion we propose,
	The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.
	The violence of either grief or joy
	Their own enactures with themselves destroy:
	Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament;	195
	Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident.
	This world is not for aye, nor 'tis not strange
	That even our loves should with our fortunes change;
	For 'tis a question left us yet to prove,
	Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.	200
	The great man down, you mark his favourite flies;
	The poor advanced makes friends of enemies.
	And hitherto doth love on fortune tend;
	For who not needs shall never lack a friend,
	And who in want a hollow friend doth try,	205
	Directly seasons him his enemy.
	But, orderly to end where I begun,
	Our wills and fates do so contrary run
	That our devices still are overthrown;
	Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own:	210
	So think thou wilt no second husband wed;
	But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.
Player Queen	Nor earth to me give food, nor heaven light!
	Sport and repose lock from me day and night!
	To desperation turn my trust and hope!	215
	An anchor's cheer in prison be my scope!
	Each opposite that blanks the face of joy
	Meet what I would have well and it destroy!
	Both here and hence pursue me lasting strife,
	If, once a widow, ever I be wife!	220
HAMLET	If she should break it now!
Player King	'Tis deeply sworn. Sweet, leave me here awhile;
	My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile
	The tedious day with sleep.
	Sleeps
Player Queen	Sleep rock thy brain,	225
	And never come mischance between us twain!
	Exit
HAMLET	Madam, how like you this play?
QUEEN GERTRUDE	The lady protests too much, methinks.
HAMLET	O, but she'll keep her word.
KING CLAUDIUS	Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in 't?	230
HAMLET	No, no, they do but jest, poison in jest; no offence
	i' the world.
KING CLAUDIUS	What do you call the play?
HAMLET	The Mouse-trap. Marry, how? Tropically. This play
	is the image of a murder done in Vienna: Gonzago is	235
	the duke's name; his wife, Baptista: you shall see
	anon; 'tis a knavish piece of work: but what o'
	that? your majesty and we that have free souls, it
	touches us not: let the galled jade wince, our
	withers are unwrung.	240
	Enter LUCIANUS
	This is one Lucianus, nephew to the king.
OPHELIA	You are as good as a chorus, my lord.
HAMLET	I could interpret between you and your love, if I
	could see the puppets dallying.
OPHELIA	You are keen, my lord, you are keen.	245
HAMLET	It would cost you a groaning to take off my edge.
OPHELIA	Still better, and worse.
HAMLET	So you must take your husbands. Begin, murderer;
	pox, leave thy damnable faces, and begin. Come:
	'the croaking raven doth bellow for revenge.'	250
LUCIANUS	Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit, and time agreeing;
	Confederate season, else no creature seeing;
	Thou mixture rank, of midnight weeds collected,
	With Hecate's ban thrice blasted, thrice infected,
	Thy natural magic and dire property,	255
	On wholesome life usurp immediately.
	Pours the poison into the sleeper's ears
HAMLET	He poisons him i' the garden for's estate. His
	name's Gonzago: the story is extant, and writ in
	choice Italian: you shall see anon how the murderer
	gets the love of Gonzago's wife.	260
OPHELIA	The king rises.
HAMLET	What, frighted with false fire!
QUEEN GERTRUDE	How fares my lord?
LORD POLONIUS	Give o'er the play.
KING CLAUDIUS	Give me some light: away!	265
All	Lights, lights, lights!
	Exeunt all but HAMLET and HORATIO
HAMLET	Why, let the stricken deer go weep,
	The hart ungalled play;
	For some must watch, while some must sleep:
	So runs the world away.	270
	Would not this, sir, and a forest of feathers-- if
	the rest of my fortunes turn Turk with me--with two
	Provincial roses on my razed shoes, get me a
	fellowship in a cry of players, sir?
HORATIO	Half a share.	275
HAMLET	A whole one, I.
	For thou dost know, O Damon dear,
	This realm dismantled was
	Of Jove himself; and now reigns here
	A very, very--pajock.	280
HORATIO	You might have rhymed.
HAMLET	O good Horatio, I'll take the ghost's word for a
	thousand pound. Didst perceive?
HORATIO	Very well, my lord.
HAMLET	Upon the talk of the poisoning?	285
HORATIO	I did very well note him.
HAMLET	Ah, ha! Come, some music! come, the recorders!
	For if the king like not the comedy,
	Why then, belike, he likes it not, perdy.
	Come, some music!	290
	Re-enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN
GUILDENSTERN	Good my lord, vouchsafe me a word with you.
HAMLET	Sir, a whole history.
GUILDENSTERN	The king, sir,--
HAMLET	Ay, sir, what of him?
GUILDENSTERN	Is in his retirement marvellous distempered.	295
HAMLET	With drink, sir?
GUILDENSTERN	No, my lord, rather with choler.
HAMLET	Your wisdom should show itself more richer to
	signify this to his doctor; for, for me to put him
	to his purgation would perhaps plunge him into far	300
	more choler.
GUILDENSTERN	Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame and
	start not so wildly from my affair.
HAMLET	I am tame, sir: pronounce.
GUILDENSTERN	The queen, your mother, in most great affliction of	305
	spirit, hath sent me to you.
HAMLET	You are welcome.
GUILDENSTERN	Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of the right
	breed. If it shall please you to make me a
	wholesome answer, I will do your mother's	310
	commandment: if not, your pardon and my return
	shall be the end of my business.
HAMLET	Sir, I cannot.
GUILDENSTERN	What, my lord?
HAMLET	Make you a wholesome answer; my wit's diseased: but,	315
	sir, such answer as I can make, you shall command;
	or, rather, as you say, my mother: therefore no
	more, but to the matter: my mother, you say,--
ROSENCRANTZ	Then thus she says; your behavior hath struck her
	into amazement and admiration.	320
HAMLET	O wonderful son, that can so astonish a mother! But
	is there no sequel at the heels of this mother's
	admiration? Impart.
ROSENCRANTZ	She desires to speak with you in her closet, ere you
	go to bed.	325
HAMLET	We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. Have
	you any further trade with us?
ROSENCRANTZ	My lord, you once did love me.
HAMLET	So I do still, by these pickers and stealers.
ROSENCRANTZ	Good my lord, what is your cause of distemper? you	330
	do, surely, bar the door upon your own liberty, if
	you deny your griefs to your friend.
HAMLET	Sir, I lack advancement.
ROSENCRANTZ	How can that be, when you have the voice of the king
	himself for your succession in Denmark?	335
HAMLET	Ay, but sir, 'While the grass grows,'--the proverb
	is something musty.
	Re-enter Players with recorders
	O, the recorders! let me see one. To withdraw with
	you:--why do you go about to recover the wind of me,
	as if you would drive me into a toil?	340
GUILDENSTERN	O, my lord, if my duty be too bold, my love is too
	unmannerly.
HAMLET	I do not well understand that. Will you play upon
	this pipe?
GUILDENSTERN	My lord, I cannot.	345
HAMLET	I pray you.
GUILDENSTERN	Believe me, I cannot.
HAMLET	I do beseech you.
GUILDENSTERN	I know no touch of it, my lord.
HAMLET	'Tis as easy as lying: govern these ventages with	350
	your lingers and thumb, give it breath with your
	mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music.
	Look you, these are the stops.
GUILDENSTERN	But these cannot I command to any utterance of
	harmony; I have not the skill.	355
HAMLET	Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of
	me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know
	my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my
	mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to
	the top of my compass: and there is much music,	360
	excellent voice, in this little organ; yet cannot
	you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am
	easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what
	instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you
	cannot play upon me.	365
	Enter POLONIUS
	God bless you, sir!
LORD POLONIUS	My lord, the queen would speak with you, and
	presently.
HAMLET	Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?
LORD POLONIUS	By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed.	370
HAMLET	Methinks it is like a weasel.
LORD POLONIUS	It is backed like a weasel.
HAMLET	Or like a whale?
LORD POLONIUS	Very like a whale.
HAMLET	Then I will come to my mother by and by. They fool	375
	me to the top of my bent. I will come by and by.
LORD POLONIUS	I will say so.
HAMLET	By and by is easily said.
	Exit POLONIUS
	Leave me, friends.
	Exeunt all but HAMLET
	Tis now the very witching time of night,	380
	When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
	Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood,
	And do such bitter business as the day
	Would quake to look on. Soft! now to my mother.
	O heart, lose not thy nature; let not ever	385
	The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom:
	Let me be cruel, not unnatural:
	I will speak daggers to her, but use none;
	My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites;
	How in my words soever she be shent,	390
	To give them seals never, my soul, consent!
	Exit