The Two Gentlemen of Verona

The Two Gentlemen of Verona

ACT I SCENE II	The same. Garden of JULIA's house.
	Enter JULlA and LUCETTA
JULIA	But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
	Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
LUCETTA	Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.
JULIA	Of all the fair resort of gentlemen	5
	That every day with parle encounter me,
	In thy opinion which is worthiest love?
LUCETTA	Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mind
	According to my shallow simple skill.
JULIA	What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?	10
LUCETTA	As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;
	But, were I you, he never should be mine.
JULIA	What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?
LUCETTA	Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so.
JULIA	What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?	15
LUCETTA	Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us!
JULIA	How now! what means this passion at his name?
LUCETTA	Pardon, dear madam: 'tis a passing shame
	That I, unworthy body as I am,
	Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.	20
JULIA	Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?
LUCETTA	Then thus: of many good I think him best.
JULIA	Your reason?
LUCETTA	I have no other, but a woman's reason;
	I think him so because I think him so.	25
JULIA	And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him?
LUCETTA	Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.
JULIA	Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.
LUCETTA	Yet he, of all the rest, I think, best loves ye.
JULIA	His little speaking shows his love but small.	30
LUCETTA	Fire that's closest kept burns most of all.
JULIA	They do not love that do not show their love.
LUCETTA	O, they love least that let men know their love.
JULIA	I would I knew his mind.
LUCETTA	Peruse this paper, madam.	35
JULIA	'To Julia.' Say, from whom?
LUCETTA	That the contents will show.
JULIA	Say, say, who gave it thee?
LUCETTA	Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus.
	He would have given it you; but I, being in the way,	40
	Did in your name receive it: pardon the
	fault I pray.
JULIA	Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!
	Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines?
	To whisper and conspire against my youth?	45
	Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth
	And you an officer fit for the place.
	Or else return no more into my sight.
LUCETTA	To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.
JULIA	Will ye be gone?	50
LUCETTA	That you may ruminate.
	Exit
JULIA	And yet I would I had o'erlooked the letter:
	It were a shame to call her back again
	And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.
	What a fool is she, that knows I am a maid,	55
	And would not force the letter to my view!
	Since maids, in modesty, say 'no' to that
	Which they would have the profferer construe 'ay.'
	Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
	That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse	60
	And presently all humbled kiss the rod!
	How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
	When willingly I would have had her here!
	How angerly I taught my brow to frown,
	When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!	65
	My penance is to call Lucetta back
	And ask remission for my folly past.
	What ho! Lucetta!
	Re-enter LUCETTA
LUCETTA	What would your ladyship?
JULIA	Is't near dinner-time?	70
LUCETTA	I would it were,
	That you might kill your stomach on your meat
	And not upon your maid.
JULIA	What is't that you took up so gingerly?
LUCETTA	Nothing.	75
JULIA	Why didst thou stoop, then?
LUCETTA	To take a paper up that I let fall.
JULIA	And is that paper nothing?
LUCETTA	Nothing concerning me.
JULIA	Then let it lie for those that it concerns.	80
LUCETTA	Madam, it will not lie where it concerns
	Unless it have a false interpeter.
JULIA	Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
LUCETTA	That I might sing it, madam, to a tune.
	Give me a note: your ladyship can set.	85
JULIA	As little by such toys as may be possible.
	Best sing it to the tune of 'Light o' love.'
LUCETTA	It is too heavy for so light a tune.
JULIA	Heavy! belike it hath some burden then?
LUCETTA	Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.	90
JULIA	And why not you?
LUCETTA	I cannot reach so high.
JULIA	Let's see your song. How now, minion!
LUCETTA	Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:
	And yet methinks I do not like this tune.	95
JULIA	You do not?
LUCETTA	No, madam; it is too sharp.
JULIA	You, minion, are too saucy.
LUCETTA	Nay, now you are too flat
	And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:	100
	There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.
JULIA	The mean is drown'd with your unruly bass.
LUCETTA	Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.
JULIA	This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
	Here is a coil with protestation!	105
	Tears the letter
	Go get you gone, and let the papers lie:
	You would be fingering them, to anger me.
LUCETTA	She makes it strange; but she would be best pleased
	To be so anger'd with another letter.
	Exit
JULIA	Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same!	110
	O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
	Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey
	And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
	I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
	Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia!	115
	As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
	I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
	Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
	And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus.'
	Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed	120
	Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal'd;
	And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
	But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down.
	Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
	Till I have found each letter in the letter,	125
	Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear
	Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock
	And throw it thence into the raging sea!
	Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,
	'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,	130
	To the sweet Julia:' that I'll tear away.
	And yet I will not, sith so prettily
	He couples it to his complaining names.
	Thus will I fold them one on another:
	Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.	135
	Re-enter LUCETTA
LUCETTA	Madam,
	Dinner is ready, and your father stays.
JULIA	Well, let us go.
LUCETTA	What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?
JULIA	If you respect them, best to take them up.	140
LUCETTA	Nay, I was taken up for laying them down:
	Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.
JULIA	I see you have a month's mind to them.
LUCETTA	Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;
	I see things too, although you judge I wink.	145
JULIA	Come, come; will't please you go?
	Exeunt