The Two Gentlemen of Verona

The Two Gentlemen of Verona

ACT IV SCENE IV	The same.
	Enter LAUNCE, with his his Dog
LAUNCE	When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,
	look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a
	puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or
	four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it.	5
	I have taught him, even as one would say precisely,
	'thus I would teach a dog.' I was sent to deliver
	him as a present to Mistress Silvia from my master;
	and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber but he
	steps me to her trencher and steals her capon's leg:	10
	O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself
	in all companies! I would have, as one should say,
	one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be,
	as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had
	more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did,	15
	I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I
	live, he had suffered for't; you shall judge. He
	thrusts me himself into the company of three or four
	gentlemanlike dogs under the duke's table: he had
	not been there--bless the mark!--a pissing while, but	20
	all the chamber smelt him. 'Out with the dog!' says
	one: 'What cur is that?' says another: 'Whip him
	out' says the third: 'Hang him up' says the duke.
	I, having been acquainted with the smell before,
	knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that	25
	whips the dogs: 'Friend,' quoth I, 'you mean to whip
	the dog?' 'Ay, marry, do I,' quoth he. 'You do him
	the more wrong,' quoth I; ''twas I did the thing you
	wot of.' He makes me no more ado, but whips me out
	of the chamber. How many masters would do this for	30
	his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the
	stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had
	been executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese
	he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't.
	Thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, I remember the	35
	trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam
	Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I
	do? when didst thou see me heave up my leg and make
	water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst
	thou ever see me do such a trick?	40
	Enter PROTEUS and JULIA
PROTEUS	Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well
	And will employ thee in some service presently.
JULIA	In what you please: I'll do what I can.
PROTEUS	I hope thou wilt.
	To LAUNCE
	How now, you whoreson peasant!	45
	Where have you been these two days loitering?
LAUNCE	Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.
PROTEUS	And what says she to my little jewel?
LAUNCE	Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you
	currish thanks is good enough for such a present.	50
PROTEUS	But she received my dog?
LAUNCE	No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him
	back again.
PROTEUS	What, didst thou offer her this from me?
LAUNCE	Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by	55
	the hangman boys in the market-place: and then I
	offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of
	yours, and therefore the gift the greater.
PROTEUS	Go get thee hence, and find my dog again,
	Or ne'er return again into my sight.	60
	Away, I say! stay'st thou to vex me here?
	Exit LAUNCE
	A slave, that still an end turns me to shame!
	Sebastian, I have entertained thee,
	Partly that I have need of such a youth
	That can with some discretion do my business,	65
	For 'tis no trusting to yond foolish lout,
	But chiefly for thy face and thy behavior,
	Which, if my augury deceive me not,
	Witness good bringing up, fortune and truth:
	Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.	70
	Go presently and take this ring with thee,
	Deliver it to Madam Silvia:
	She loved me well deliver'd it to me.
JULIA	It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
	She is dead, belike?	75
PROTEUS	Not so; I think she lives.
JULIA	Alas!
PROTEUS	Why dost thou cry 'alas'?
JULIA	I cannot choose
	But pity her.	80
PROTEUS	Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?
JULIA	Because methinks that she loved you as well
	As you do love your lady Silvia:
	She dreams of him that has forgot her love;
	You dote on her that cares not for your love.	85
	'Tis pity love should be so contrary;
	And thinking of it makes me cry 'alas!'
PROTEUS	Well, give her that ring and therewithal
	This letter. That's her chamber. Tell my lady
	I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.	90
	Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
	Where thou shalt find me, sad and solitary.
	Exit
JULIA	How many women would do such a message?
	Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertain'd
	A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.	95
	Alas, poor fool! why do I pity him
	That with his very heart despiseth me?
	Because he loves her, he despiseth me;
	Because I love him I must pity him.
	This ring I gave him when he parted from me,	100
	To bind him to remember my good will;
	And now am I, unhappy messenger,
	To plead for that which I would not obtain,
	To carry that which I would have refused,
	To praise his faith which I would have dispraised.	105
	I am my master's true-confirmed love;
	But cannot be true servant to my master,
	Unless I prove false traitor to myself.
	Yet will I woo for him, but yet so coldly
	As, heaven it knows, I would not have him speed.	110
	Enter SILVIA, attended
	Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean
	To bring me where to speak with Madam Silvia.
SILVIA	What would you with her, if that I be she?
JULIA	If you be she, I do entreat your patience
	To hear me speak the message I am sent on.	115
SILVIA	From whom?
JULIA	From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.
SILVIA	O, he sends you for a picture.
JULIA	Ay, madam.
SILVIA	Ursula, bring my picture here.	120
	Go give your master this: tell him from me,
	One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
	Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.
JULIA	Madam, please you peruse this letter.--
	Pardon me, madam; I have unadvised	125
	Deliver'd you a paper that I should not:
	This is the letter to your ladyship.
SILVIA	I pray thee, let me look on that again.
JULIA	It may not be; good madam, pardon me.
SILVIA	There, hold!	130
	I will not look upon your master's lines:
	I know they are stuff'd with protestations
	And full of new-found oaths; which he will break
	As easily as I do tear his paper.
JULIA	Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.	135
SILVIA	The more shame for him that he sends it me;
	For I have heard him say a thousand times
	His Julia gave it him at his departure.
	Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
	Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.	140
JULIA	She thanks you.
SILVIA	What say'st thou?
JULIA	I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
	Poor gentlewoman! my master wrongs her much.
SILVIA	Dost thou know her?	145
JULIA	Almost as well as I do know myself:
	To think upon her woes I do protest
	That I have wept a hundred several times.
SILVIA	Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.
JULIA	I think she doth; and that's her cause of sorrow.	150
SILVIA	Is she not passing fair?
JULIA	She hath been fairer, madam, than she is:
	When she did think my master loved her well,
	She, in my judgment, was as fair as you:
	But since she did neglect her looking-glass	155
	And threw her sun-expelling mask away,
	The air hath starved the roses in her cheeks
	And pinch'd the lily-tincture of her face,
	That now she is become as black as I.
SILVIA	How tall was she?	160
JULIA	About my stature; for at Pentecost,
	When all our pageants of delight were play'd,
	Our youth got me to play the woman's part,
	And I was trimm'd in Madam Julia's gown,
	Which served me as fit, by all men's judgments,	165
	As if the garment had been made for me:
	Therefore I know she is about my height.
	And at that time I made her weep agood,
	For I did play a lamentable part:
	Madam, 'twas Ariadne passioning	170
	For Theseus' perjury and unjust flight;
	Which I so lively acted with my tears
	That my poor mistress, moved therewithal,
	Wept bitterly; and would I might be dead
	If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!	175
SILVIA	She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.
	Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!
	I weep myself to think upon thy words.
	Here, youth, there is my purse; I give thee this
	For thy sweet mistress' sake, because thou lovest her.	180
	Farewell.
	Exit SILVIA, with attendants
JULIA	And she shall thank you for't, if e'er you know her.
	A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful
	I hope my master's suit will be but cold,
	Since she respects my mistress' love so much.	185
	Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
	Here is her picture: let me see; I think,
	If I had such a tire, this face of mine
	Were full as lovely as is this of hers:
	And yet the painter flatter'd her a little,	190
	Unless I flatter with myself too much.
	Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow:
	If that be all the difference in his love,
	I'll get me such a colour'd periwig.
	Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine:	195
	Ay, but her forehead's low, and mine's as high.
	What should it be that he respects in her
	But I can make respective in myself,
	If this fond Love were not a blinded god?
	Come, shadow, come and take this shadow up,	200
	For 'tis thy rival. O thou senseless form,
	Thou shalt be worshipp'd, kiss'd, loved and adored!
	And, were there sense in his idolatry,
	My substance should be statue in thy stead.
	I'll use thee kindly for thy mistress' sake,	205
	That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
	I should have scratch'd out your unseeing eyes
	To make my master out of love with thee!
	Exit