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The Tempest

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ACT II SCENE II Another part of the island. 
[ Enter CALIBAN with a burden of wood. A noise of thunder heard ]
CALIBANAll the infections that the sun sucks up
From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall and make him
By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me
And yet I needs must curse. But they'll nor pinch,
Fright me with urchin--shows, pitch me i' the mire,5
Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark
Out of my way, unless he bid 'em; but
For every trifle are they set upon me;
Sometime like apes that mow and chatter at me
And after bite me, then like hedgehogs which10
Lie tumbling in my barefoot way and mount
Their pricks at my footfall; sometime am I
All wound with adders who with cloven tongues
Do hiss me into madness.
Lo, now, lo!15
Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me
For bringing wood in slowly. I'll fall flat;
Perchance he will not mind me.
TRINCULOHere's neither bush nor shrub, to bear off
any weather at all, and another storm brewing;20
I hear it sing i' the wind: yond same black
cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul
bombard that would shed his liquor. If it
should thunder as it did before, I know not
where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot25
choose but fall by pailfuls. What have we
here? a man or a fish? dead or alive? A fish:
he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-
like smell; a kind of not of the newest Poor-
John. A strange fish! Were I in England now,30
as once I was, and had but this fish painted,
not a holiday fool there but would give a piece
of silver: there would this monster make a
man; any strange beast there makes a man:
when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame35
beggar, they will lazy out ten to see a dead
Indian. Legged like a man and his fins like
arms! Warm o' my troth! I do now let loose
my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish,
but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a40
Alas, the storm is come again! my best way is to
creep under his gaberdine; there is no other
shelter hereabouts: misery acquaints a man with
strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the45
dregs of the storm be past.
[Enter STEPHANO, singing: a bottle in his hand]
STEPHANOI shall no more to sea, to sea,
Here shall I die ashore--
This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's
[Drinks] funeral: well, here's my comfort. 50
The master, the swabber, the boatswain and I,
The gunner and his mate
Loved Mall, Meg and Marian and Margery,
But none of us cared for Kate;
For she had a tongue with a tang,55
Would cry to a sailor, Go hang!
She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch,
Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch:
Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!
This is a scurvy tune too: but here's my comfort.60
CALIBANDo not torment me: Oh!
STEPHANOWhat's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put

tricks upon's with savages and men of Ind, ha? I
have not scaped drowning to be afeard now of your
four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as65
ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground;
and it shall be said so again while Stephano
breathes at's nostrils.
CALIBANThe spirit torments me; Oh!
STEPHANOThis is some monster of the isle with four legs, who70
hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil
should he learn our language? I will give him some
relief, if it be but for that. if I can recover him
and keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he's a
present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's leather.75
CALIBANDo not torment me, prithee; I'll bring my wood home faster.
STEPHANOHe's in his fit now and does not talk after the
wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have
never drunk wine afore will go near to remove his
fit. If I can recover him and keep him tame, I will80
not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that
hath him, and that soundly.
CALIBANThou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I
know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee.
STEPHANOCome on your ways; open your mouth; here is that85
which will give language to you, cat: open your
mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you,
and that soundly: you cannot tell who's your friend:
open your chaps again.
TRINCULOI should know that voice: it should be--but he is90
drowned; and these are devils: O defend me!
STEPHANOFour legs and two voices: a most delicate monster!
His forward voice now is to speak well of his
friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches
and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will95
recover him, I will help his ague. Come. Amen! I
will pour some in thy other mouth.
STEPHANODoth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is
a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no100
long spoon.
TRINCULOStephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me and
speak to me: for I am Trinculo--be not afeard--thy
good friend Trinculo.
STEPHANOIf thou beest Trinculo, come forth: I'll pull thee105
by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo's legs,
these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How
camest thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? can
he vent Trinculos?
TRINCULOI took him to be killed with a thunder-stroke. But110
art thou not drowned, Stephano? I hope now thou art
not drowned. Is the storm overblown? I hid me
under the dead moon-calf's gaberdine for fear of
the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O
Stephano, two Neapolitans 'scaped!115
STEPHANOPrithee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.
CALIBAN[Aside] These be fine things, an if they be
not sprites.
That's a brave god and bears celestial liquor.
I will kneel to him.120
STEPHANOHow didst thou 'scape? How camest thou hither?
swear by this bottle how thou camest hither. I
escaped upon a butt of sack which the sailors
heaved o'erboard, by this bottle; which I made of
the bark of a tree with mine own hands since I was125
cast ashore.
CALIBANI'll swear upon that bottle to be thy true subject;
for the liquor is not earthly.
STEPHANOHere; swear then how thou escapedst.
TRINCULOSwum ashore. man, like a duck: I can swim like a130
duck, I'll be sworn.
STEPHANOHere, kiss the book. Though thou canst swim like a
duck, thou art made like a goose.
TRINCULOO Stephano. hast any more of this?
STEPHANOThe whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the135
sea-side where my wine is hid. How now, moon-calf!
how does thine ague?
CALIBANHast thou not dropp'd from heaven?
STEPHANOOut o' the moon, I do assure thee: I was the man i'
the moon when time was.140
CALIBANI have seen thee in her and I do adore thee:
My mistress show'd me thee and thy dog and thy bush.
STEPHANOCome, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish
it anon with new contents swear.
TRINCULOBy this good light, this is a very shallow monster!145
I afeard of him! A very weak monster! The man i'
the moon! A most poor credulous monster! Well
drawn, monster, in good sooth!
CALIBANI'll show thee every fertile inch o' th' island;
And I will kiss thy foot: I prithee, be my god.150
TRINCULOBy this light, a most perfidious and drunken
monster! when 's god's asleep, he'll rob his bottle.
CALIBANI'll kiss thy foot; I'll swear myself thy subject.
STEPHANOCome on then; down, and swear.
TRINCULOI shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed155
monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my
heart to beat him,--
STEPHANOCome, kiss.
TRINCULOBut that the poor monster's in drink: an abominable monster!
CALIBANI'll show thee the best springs; I'll pluck thee berries;160
I'll fish for thee and get thee wood enough.
A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!
I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,
Thou wondrous man.
TRINCULOA most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a165
Poor drunkard!
CALIBANI prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow;
And I with my long nails will dig thee pignuts;
Show thee a jay's nest and instruct thee how
To snare the nimble marmoset; I'll bring thee170
To clustering filberts and sometimes I'll get thee
Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?
STEPHANOI prithee now, lead the way without any more
talking. Trinculo, the king and all our company
else being drowned, we will inherit here: here;175
bear my bottle: fellow Trinculo, we'll fill him by
and by again.
CALIBAN[Sings drunkenly]
Farewell master; farewell, farewell!
TRINCULOA howling monster: a drunken monster!180
CALIBANNo more dams I'll make for fish
Nor fetch in firing
At requiring;
Nor scrape trencher, nor wash dish
'Ban, 'Ban, Cacaliban185
Has a new master: get a new man.
Freedom, hey-day! hey-day, freedom! freedom,
hey-day, freedom!
STEPHANOO brave monster! Lead the way.

The Tempest, Act 3, Scene 1


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Caliban. Illustrated by Charles H. Buchel, 1904.