| ACT III SCENE II | A room in LEONATO'S house | |
| | Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and LEONATO | |
| DON PEDRO | I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and | |
| | then go I toward Arragon. | |
| CLAUDIO | I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll | |
| | vouchsafe me. | 5 |
| DON PEDRO | Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss | |
| | of your marriage as to show a child his new coat | |
| | and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold | |
| | with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown | |
| | of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all | 10 |
| | mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's | |
| | bow-string and the little hangman dare not shoot at | |
| | him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his | |
| | tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his | |
| | tongue speaks. | 15 |
| BENEDICK | Gallants, I am not as I have been. | |
| LEONATO | So say I methinks you are sadder. | |
| CLAUDIO | I hope he be in love. | |
| DON PEDRO | Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in | |
| | him, to be truly touched with love: if he be sad, | 20 |
| | he wants money. | |
| BENEDICK | I have the toothache. | |
| DON PEDRO | Draw it. | |
| BENEDICK | Hang it! | |
| CLAUDIO | You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards. | 25 |
| DON PEDRO | What! sigh for the toothache? | |
| LEONATO | Where is but a humour or a worm. | |
| BENEDICK | Well, every one can master a grief but he that has | |
| | it. | |
| CLAUDIO | Yet say I, he is in love. | 30 |
| DON PEDRO | There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be | |
| | a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be | |
| | a Dutchman today, a Frenchman to-morrow, or in the | |
| | shape of two countries at once, as, a German from | |
| | the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from | 35 |
| | the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy | |
| | to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no | |
| | fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is. | |
| CLAUDIO | If he be not in love with some woman, there is no | |
| | believing old signs: a' brushes his hat o' | 40 |
| | mornings; what should that bode? | |
| DON PEDRO | Hath any man seen him at the barber's? | |
| CLAUDIO | No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him, | |
| | and the old ornament of his cheek hath already | |
| | stuffed tennis-balls. | 45 |
| LEONATO | Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard. | |
| DON PEDRO | Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him | |
| | out by that? | |
| CLAUDIO | That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love. | |
| DON PEDRO | The greatest note of it is his melancholy. | 50 |
| CLAUDIO | And when was he wont to wash his face? | |
| DON PEDRO | Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear | |
| | what they say of him. | |
| CLAUDIO | Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into | |
| | a lute-string and now governed by stops. | 55 |
| DON PEDRO | Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude, | |
| | conclude he is in love. | |
| CLAUDIO | Nay, but I know who loves him. | |
| DON PEDRO | That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not. | |
| CLAUDIO | Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of | 60 |
| | all, dies for him. | |
| DON PEDRO | She shall be buried with her face upwards. | |
| BENEDICK | Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old | |
| | signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight | |
| | or nine wise words to speak to you, which these | 65 |
| | hobby-horses must not hear. | |
| | Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO | |
| DON PEDRO | For my life, to break with him about Beatrice. | |
| CLAUDIO | 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this | |
| | played their parts with Beatrice; and then the two | |
| | bears will not bite one another when they meet. | 70 |
| | Enter DON JOHN | |
| DON JOHN | My lord and brother, God save you! | |
| DON PEDRO | Good den, brother. | |
| DON JOHN | If your leisure served, I would speak with you. | |
| DON PEDRO | In private? | |
| DON JOHN | If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for | 75 |
| | what I would speak of concerns him. | |
| DON PEDRO | What's the matter? | |
| DON JOHN | To CLAUDIO | |
| | to-morrow? | |
| DON PEDRO | You know he does. | |
| DON JOHN | I know not that, when he knows what I know. | 80 |
| CLAUDIO | If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it. | |
| DON JOHN | You may think I love you not: let that appear | |
| | hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will | |
| | manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you | |
| | well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect | 85 |
| | your ensuing marriage;--surely suit ill spent and | |
| | labour ill bestowed. | |
| DON PEDRO | Why, what's the matter? | |
| DON JOHN | I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances | |
| | shortened, for she has been too long a talking of, | 90 |
| | the lady is disloyal. | |
| CLAUDIO | Who, Hero? | |
| DON PEDRO | Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero: | |
| CLAUDIO | Disloyal? | |
| DON JOHN | The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I | 95 |
| | could say she were worse: think you of a worse | |
| | title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till | |
| | further warrant: go but with me to-night, you shall | |
| | see her chamber-window entered, even the night | |
| | before her wedding-day: if you love her then, | 100 |
| | to-morrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour | |
| | to change your mind. | |
| CLAUDIO | May this be so? | |
| DON PEDRO | I will not think it. | |
| DON JOHN | If you dare not trust that you see, confess not | 105 |
| | that you know: if you will follow me, I will show | |
| | you enough; and when you have seen more and heard | |
| | more, proceed accordingly. | |
| CLAUDIO | If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry | |
| | her to-morrow in the congregation, where I should | 110 |
| | wed, there will I shame her. | |
| DON PEDRO | And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join | |
| | with thee to disgrace her. | |
| DON JOHN | I will disparage her no farther till you are my | |
| | witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and | 115 |
| | let the issue show itself. | |
| DON PEDRO | O day untowardly turned! | |
| CLAUDIO | O mischief strangely thwarting! | |
| DON JOHN | O plague right well prevented! so will you say when | |
| | you have seen the sequel. | 120 |
| | Exeunt | |