| ACT I SCENE V | Court before the same. | |
| | Enter KING LEAR, KENT, and Fool | |
| KING LEAR | Go you before to Gloucester with these letters. | |
| | Acquaint my daughter no further with any thing you | |
| | know than comes from her demand out of the letter. | |
| | If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you. | 5 |
| KENT | I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered | |
| | your letter. | |
| | Exit | |
| Fool | If a man's brains were in's heels, were't not in | |
| | danger of kibes? | |
| KING LEAR | Ay, boy. | 10 |
| Fool | Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall ne'er go | |
| | slip-shod. | |
| KING LEAR | Ha, ha, ha! | |
| Fool | Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly; | |
| | for though she's as like this as a crab's like an | 15 |
| | apple, yet I can tell what I can tell. | |
| KING LEAR | Why, what canst thou tell, my boy? | |
| Fool | She will taste as like this as a crab does to a | |
| | crab. Thou canst tell why one's nose stands i' | |
| | the middle on's face? | 20 |
| KING LEAR | No. | |
| Fool | Why, to keep one's eyes of either side's nose; that | |
| | what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into. | |
| KING LEAR | I did her wrong-- | |
| Fool | Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell? | 25 |
| KING LEAR | No. | |
| Fool | Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house. | |
| KING LEAR | Why? | |
| Fool | Why, to put his head in; not to give it away to his | |
| | daughters, and leave his horns without a case. | 30 |
| KING LEAR | I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be my | |
| | horses ready? | |
| Fool | Thy asses are gone about 'em. The reason why the | |
| | seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason. | |
| KING LEAR | Because they are not eight? | 35 |
| Fool | Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool. | |
| KING LEAR | To take 't again perforce! Monster ingratitude! | |
| Fool | If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I'ld have thee beaten | |
| | for being old before thy time. | |
| KING LEAR | How's that? | 40 |
| Fool | Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst | |
| | been wise. | |
| KING LEAR | O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven | |
| | Keep me in temper: I would not be mad! | |
| | Enter Gentleman | |
| | How now! are the horses ready? | 45 |
| Gentleman | Ready, my lord. | |
| KING LEAR | Come, boy. | |
| Fool | She that's a maid now, and laughs at my departure, | |
| | Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter. | |
| | Exeunt | |
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