Comedy of Errors

Comedy of Errors

ACT V SCENE I	A street before a Priory.
	Enter Second Merchant and ANGELO
ANGELO	I am sorry, sir, that I have hinder'd you;
	But, I protest, he had the chain of me,
	Though most dishonestly he doth deny it.
Second Merchant	How is the man esteemed here in the city?	5
ANGELO	Of very reverend reputation, sir,
	Of credit infinite, highly beloved,
	Second to none that lives here in the city:
	His word might bear my wealth at any time.
Second Merchant	Speak softly; yonder, as I think, he walks.	10
	Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse and DROMIO of Syracuse
ANGELO	'Tis so; and that self chain about his neck
	Which he forswore most monstrously to have.
	Good sir, draw near to me, I'll speak to him.
	Signior Antipholus, I wonder much
	That you would put me to this shame and trouble;	15
	And, not without some scandal to yourself,
	With circumstance and oaths so to deny
	This chain which now you wear so openly:
	Beside the charge, the shame, imprisonment,
	You have done wrong to this my honest friend,	20
	Who, but for staying on our controversy,
	Had hoisted sail and put to sea to-day:
	This chain you had of me; can you deny it?
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	I think I had; I never did deny it.
Second Merchant	Yes, that you did, sir, and forswore it too.	25
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	Who heard me to deny it or forswear it?
Second Merchant	These ears of mine, thou know'st did hear thee.
	Fie on thee, wretch! 'tis pity that thou livest
	To walk where any honest man resort.
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	Thou art a villain to impeach me thus:	30
	I'll prove mine honour and mine honesty
	Against thee presently, if thou darest stand.
Second Merchant	I dare, and do defy thee for a villain.
	They draw
	Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtezan, and others
ADRIANA	Hold, hurt him not, for God's sake! he is mad.
	Some get within him, take his sword away:	35
	Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	Run, master, run; for God's sake, take a house!
	This is some priory. In, or we are spoil'd!
	Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuseto the Priory
	Enter the Lady Abbess, AEMILIA
AEMELIA	Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither?
ADRIANA	To fetch my poor distracted husband hence.	40
	Let us come in, that we may bind him fast
	And bear him home for his recovery.
ANGELO	I knew he was not in his perfect wits.
Second Merchant	I am sorry now that I did draw on him.
AEMELIA	How long hath this possession held the man?	45
ADRIANA	This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad,
	And much different from the man he was;
	But till this afternoon his passion
	Ne'er brake into extremity of rage.
AEMELIA	Hath he not lost much wealth by wreck of sea?	50
	Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye
	Stray'd his affection in unlawful love?
	A sin prevailing much in youthful men,
	Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing.
	Which of these sorrows is he subject to?	55
ADRIANA	To none of these, except it be the last;
	Namely, some love that drew him oft from home.
AEMELIA	You should for that have reprehended him.
ADRIANA	Why, so I did.
AEMELIA	Ay, but not rough enough.	60
ADRIANA	As roughly as my modesty would let me.
AEMELIA	Haply, in private.
ADRIANA	And in assemblies too.
AEMELIA	Ay, but not enough.
ADRIANA	It was the copy of our conference:	65
	In bed he slept not for my urging it;
	At board he fed not for my urging it;
	Alone, it was the subject of my theme;
	In company I often glanced it;
	Still did I tell him it was vile and bad.	70
AEMELIA	And thereof came it that the man was mad.
	The venom clamours of a jealous woman
	Poisons more deadly than a mad dog's tooth.
	It seems his sleeps were hinder'd by thy railing,
	And therefore comes it that his head is light.	75
	Thou say'st his meat was sauced with thy upbraidings:
	Unquiet meals make ill digestions;
	Thereof the raging fire of fever bred;
	And what's a fever but a fit of madness?
	Thou say'st his sports were hinderd by thy brawls:	80
	Sweet recreation barr'd, what doth ensue
	But moody and dull melancholy,
	Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair,
	And at her heels a huge infectious troop
	Of pale distemperatures and foes to life?	85
	In food, in sport and life-preserving rest
	To be disturb'd, would mad or man or beast:
	The consequence is then thy jealous fits
	Have scared thy husband from the use of wits.
LUCIANA	She never reprehended him but mildly,	90
	When he demean'd himself rough, rude and wildly.
	Why bear you these rebukes and answer not?
ADRIANA	She did betray me to my own reproof.
	Good people enter and lay hold on him.
AEMELIA	No, not a creature enters in my house.	95
ADRIANA	Then let your servants bring my husband forth.
AEMELIA	Neither: he took this place for sanctuary,
	And it shall privilege him from your hands
	Till I have brought him to his wits again,
	Or lose my labour in assaying it.	100
ADRIANA	I will attend my husband, be his nurse,
	Diet his sickness, for it is my office,
	And will have no attorney but myself;
	And therefore let me have him home with me.
AEMELIA	Be patient; for I will not let him stir	105
	Till I have used the approved means I have,
	With wholesome syrups, drugs and holy prayers,
	To make of him a formal man again:
	It is a branch and parcel of mine oath,
	A charitable duty of my order.	110
	Therefore depart and leave him here with me.
ADRIANA	I will not hence and leave my husband here:
	And ill it doth beseem your holiness
	To separate the husband and the wife.
AEMELIA	Be quiet and depart: thou shalt not have him.	115
	Exit
LUCIANA	Complain unto the duke of this indignity.
ADRIANA	Come, go: I will fall prostrate at his feet
	And never rise until my tears and prayers
	Have won his grace to come in person hither
	And take perforce my husband from the abbess.	120
Second Merchant	By this, I think, the dial points at five:
	Anon, I'm sure, the duke himself in person
	Comes this way to the melancholy vale,
	The place of death and sorry execution,
	Behind the ditches of the abbey here.	125
ANGELO	Upon what cause?
Second Merchant	To see a reverend Syracusian merchant,
	Who put unluckily into this bay
	Against the laws and statutes of this town,
	Beheaded publicly for his offence.	130
ANGELO	See where they come: we will behold his death.
LUCIANA	Kneel to the duke before he pass the abbey.
	Enter DUKE SOLINUS, attended; AEGEON bareheaded; with theHeadsman and other Officers
DUKE SOLINUS	Yet once again proclaim it publicly,
	If any friend will pay the sum for him,
	He shall not die; so much we tender him.	135
ADRIANA	Justice, most sacred duke, against the abbess!
DUKE SOLINUS	She is a virtuous and a reverend lady:
	It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.
ADRIANA	May it please your grace, Antipholus, my husband,
	Whom I made lord of me and all I had,	140
	At your important letters,--this ill day
	A most outrageous fit of madness took him;
	That desperately he hurried through the street,
	With him his bondman, all as mad as he--
	Doing displeasure to the citizens	145
	By rushing in their houses, bearing thence
	Rings, jewels, any thing his rage did like.
	Once did I get him bound and sent him home,
	Whilst to take order for the wrongs I went,
	That here and there his fury had committed.	150
	Anon, I wot not by what strong escape,
	He broke from those that had the guard of him;
	And with his mad attendant and himself,
	Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords,
	Met us again and madly bent on us,	155
	Chased us away; till, raising of more aid,
	We came again to bind them. Then they fled
	Into this abbey, whither we pursued them:
	And here the abbess shuts the gates on us
	And will not suffer us to fetch him out,	160
	Nor send him forth that we may bear him hence.
	Therefore, most gracious duke, with thy command
	Let him be brought forth and borne hence for help.
DUKE SOLINUS	Long since thy husband served me in my wars,
	And I to thee engaged a prince's word,	165
	When thou didst make him master of thy bed,
	To do him all the grace and good I could.
	Go, some of you, knock at the abbey-gate
	And bid the lady abbess come to me.
	I will determine this before I stir.	170
	Enter a Servant
Servant	O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself!
	My master and his man are both broke loose,
	Beaten the maids a-row and bound the doctor
	Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire;
	And ever, as it blazed, they threw on him	175
	Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair:
	My master preaches patience to him and the while
	His man with scissors nicks him like a fool,
	And sure, unless you send some present help,
	Between them they will kill the conjurer.	180
ADRIANA	Peace, fool! thy master and his man are here,
	And that is false thou dost report to us.
Servant	Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true;
	I have not breathed almost since I did see it.
	He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you,	185
	To scorch your face and to disfigure you.
	Cry within
	Hark, hark! I hear him, mistress. fly, be gone!
DUKE SOLINUS	Come, stand by me; fear nothing. Guard with halberds!
ADRIANA	Ay me, it is my husband! Witness you,
	That he is borne about invisible:	190
	Even now we housed him in the abbey here;
	And now he's there, past thought of human reason.
	Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and DROMIO of Ephesus
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	Justice, most gracious duke, O, grant me justice!
	Even for the service that long since I did thee,
	When I bestrid thee in the wars and took	195
	Deep scars to save thy life; even for the blood
	That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice.
AEGEON	Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,
	I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there!	200
	She whom thou gavest to me to be my wife,
	That hath abused and dishonour'd me
	Even in the strength and height of injury!
	Beyond imagination is the wrong
	That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.	205
DUKE SOLINUS	Discover how, and thou shalt find me just.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me,
	While she with harlots feasted in my house.
DUKE SOLINUS	A grievous fault! Say, woman, didst thou so?
ADRIANA	No, my good lord: myself, he and my sister	210
	To-day did dine together. So befall my soul
	As this is false he burdens me withal!
LUCIANA	Ne'er may I look on day, nor sleep on night,
	But she tells to your highness simple truth!
ANGELO	O perjured woman! They are both forsworn:	215
	In this the madman justly chargeth them.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	My liege, I am advised what I say,
	Neither disturbed with the effect of wine,
	Nor heady-rash, provoked with raging ire,
	Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.	220
	This woman lock'd me out this day from dinner:
	That goldsmith there, were he not pack'd with her,
	Could witness it, for he was with me then;
	Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,
	Promising to bring it to the Porpentine,	225
	Where Balthazar and I did dine together.
	Our dinner done, and he not coming thither,
	I went to seek him: in the street I met him
	And in his company that gentleman.
	There did this perjured goldsmith swear me down	230
	That I this day of him received the chain,
	Which, God he knows, I saw not: for the which
	He did arrest me with an officer.
	I did obey, and sent my peasant home
	For certain ducats: he with none return'd	235
	Then fairly I bespoke the officer
	To go in person with me to my house.
	By the way we met
	My wife, her sister, and a rabble more
	Of vile confederates. Along with them	240
	They brought one Pinch, a hungry lean-faced villain,
	A mere anatomy, a mountebank,
	A threadbare juggler and a fortune-teller,
	A needy, hollow-eyed, sharp-looking wretch,
	A dead-looking man: this pernicious slave,	245
	Forsooth, took on him as a conjurer,
	And, gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,
	And with no face, as 'twere, outfacing me,
	Cries out, I was possess'd. Then all together
	They fell upon me, bound me, bore me thence	250
	And in a dark and dankish vault at home
	There left me and my man, both bound together;
	Till, gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder,
	I gain'd my freedom, and immediately
	Ran hither to your grace; whom I beseech	255
	To give me ample satisfaction
	For these deep shames and great indignities.
ANGELO	My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him,
	That he dined not at home, but was lock'd out.
DUKE SOLINUS	But had he such a chain of thee or no?	260
ANGELO	He had, my lord: and when he ran in here,
	These people saw the chain about his neck.
Second Merchant	Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine
	Heard you confess you had the chain of him
	After you first forswore it on the mart:	265
	And thereupon I drew my sword on you;
	And then you fled into this abbey here,
	From whence, I think, you are come by miracle.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	I never came within these abbey-walls,
	Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me:	270
	I never saw the chain, so help me Heaven!
	And this is false you burden me withal.
DUKE SOLINUS	Why, what an intricate impeach is this!
	I think you all have drunk of Circe's cup.
	If here you housed him, here he would have been;	275
	If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly:
	You say he dined at home; the goldsmith here
	Denies that saying. Sirrah, what say you?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	Sir, he dined with her there, at the Porpentine.
Courtezan	He did, and from my finger snatch'd that ring.	280
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	'Tis true, my liege; this ring I had of her.
DUKE SOLINUS	Saw'st thou him enter at the abbey here?
Courtezan	As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace.
DUKE SOLINUS	Why, this is strange. Go call the abbess hither.
	I think you are all mated or stark mad.	285
	Exit one to Abbess
AEGEON	Most mighty duke, vouchsafe me speak a word:
	Haply I see a friend will save my life
	And pay the sum that may deliver me.
DUKE SOLINUS	Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt.
AEGEON	Is not your name, sir, call'd Antipholus?	290
	And is not that your bondman, Dromio?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	Within this hour I was his bondman sir,
	But he, I thank him, gnaw'd in two my cords:
	Now am I Dromio and his man unbound.
AEGEON	I am sure you both of you remember me.	295
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you;
	For lately we were bound, as you are now
	You are not Pinch's patient, are you, sir?
AEGEON	Why look you strange on me? you know me well.
ANTIPHOLUS	I never saw you in my life till now.	300
AEGEON	O, grief hath changed me since you saw me last,
	And careful hours with time's deformed hand
	Have written strange defeatures in my face:
	But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice?
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	Neither.	305
AEGEON	Dromio, nor thou?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	No, trust me, sir, nor I.
AEGEON	I am sure thou dost.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	Ay, sir, but I am sure I do not; and whatsoever a
	man denies, you are now bound to believe him.	310
AEGEON	Not know my voice! O time's extremity,
	Hast thou so crack'd and splitted my poor tongue
	In seven short years, that here my only son
	Knows not my feeble key of untuned cares?
	Though now this grained face of mine be hid	315
	In sap-consuming winter's drizzled snow,
	And all the conduits of my blood froze up,
	Yet hath my night of life some memory,
	My wasting lamps some fading glimmer left,
	My dull deaf ears a little use to hear:	320
	All these old witnesses--I cannot err--
	Tell me thou art my son Antipholus.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	I never saw my father in my life.
AEGEON	But seven years since, in Syracusa, boy,
	Thou know'st we parted: but perhaps, my son,	325
	Thou shamest to acknowledge me in misery.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	The duke and all that know me in the city
	Can witness with me that it is not so
	I ne'er saw Syracusa in my life.
DUKE SOLINUS	I tell thee, Syracusian, twenty years	330
	Have I been patron to Antipholus,
	During which time he ne'er saw Syracusa:
	I see thy age and dangers make thee dote.
	Re-enter AEMILIA, with ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse andDROMIO of Syracuse
AEMELIA	Most mighty duke, behold a man much wrong'd.
	All gather to see them
ADRIANA	I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me.	335
DUKE SOLINUS	One of these men is Genius to the other;
	And so of these. Which is the natural man,
	And which the spirit? who deciphers them?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	I, sir, am Dromio; command him away.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	I, sir, am Dromio; pray, let me stay.	340
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	AEgeon art thou not? or else his ghost?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	O, my old master! who hath bound him here?
AEMELIA	Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds
	And gain a husband by his liberty.
	Speak, old AEgeon, if thou be'st the man	345
	That hadst a wife once call'd AEmilia
	That bore thee at a burden two fair sons:
	O, if thou be'st the same AEgeon, speak,
	And speak unto the same AEmilia!
AEGEON	If I dream not, thou art AEmilia:	350
	If thou art she, tell me where is that son
	That floated with thee on the fatal raft?
AEMELIA	By men of Epidamnum he and I
	And the twin Dromio all were taken up;
	But by and by rude fishermen of Corinth	355
	By force took Dromio and my son from them
	And me they left with those of Epidamnum.
	What then became of them I cannot tell
	I to this fortune that you see me in.
DUKE SOLINUS	Why, here begins his morning story right;	360
	These two Antipholuses, these two so like,
	And these two Dromios, one in semblance,--
	Besides her urging of her wreck at sea,--
	These are the parents to these children,
	Which accidentally are met together.	365
	Antipholus, thou camest from Corinth first?
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	No, sir, not I; I came from Syracuse.
DUKE SOLINUS	Stay, stand apart; I know not which is which.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	I came from Corinth, my most gracious lord,--
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	And I with him.	370
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	Brought to this town by that most famous warrior,
	Duke Menaphon, your most renowned uncle.
ADRIANA	Which of you two did dine with me to-day?
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	I, gentle mistress.
ADRIANA	And are not you my husband?	375
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	No; I say nay to that.
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	And so do I; yet did she call me so:
	And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here,
	Did call me brother.
	To Luciana
	What I told you then,	380
	I hope I shall have leisure to make good;
	If this be not a dream I see and hear.
ANGELO	That is the chain, sir, which you had of me.
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	I think it be, sir; I deny it not.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	And you, sir, for this chain arrested me.	385
ANGELO	I think I did, sir; I deny it not.
ADRIANA	I sent you money, sir, to be your bail,
	By Dromio; but I think he brought it not.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	No, none by me.
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	This purse of ducats I received from you,	390
	And Dromio, my man, did bring them me.
	I see we still did meet each other's man,
	And I was ta'en for him, and he for me,
	And thereupon these errors are arose.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	These ducats pawn I for my father here.	395
DUKE SOLINUS	It shall not need; thy father hath his life.
Courtezan	Sir, I must have that diamond from you.
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	There, take it; and much thanks for my good cheer.
AEMELIA	Renowned duke, vouchsafe to take the pains
	To go with us into the abbey here	400
	And hear at large discoursed all our fortunes:
	And all that are assembled in this place,
	That by this sympathized one day's error
	Have suffer'd wrong, go keep us company,
	And we shall make full satisfaction.	405
	Thirty-three years have I but gone in travail
	Of you, my sons; and till this present hour
	My heavy burden ne'er delivered.
	The duke, my husband and my children both,
	And you the calendars of their nativity,	410
	Go to a gossips' feast and go with me;
	After so long grief, such festivity!
DUKE SOLINUS	With all my heart, I'll gossip at this feast.
	Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse, Antipholusof Ephesus, Dromio of Syracuse and Dromio of Ephesus
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard?
ANTIPHOLUSOF EPHESUS	Dromio, what stuff of mine hast thou embark'd?	415
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	Your goods that lay at host, sir, in the Centaur.
ANTIPHOLUSOF SYRACUSE	He speaks to me. I am your master, Dromio:
	Come, go with us; we'll look to that anon:
	Embrace thy brother there; rejoice with him.
	Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Antipholus of Ephesus
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	There is a fat friend at your master's house,	420
	That kitchen'd me for you to-day at dinner:
	She now shall be my sister, not my wife.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	Methinks you are my glass, and not my brother:
	I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth.
	Will you walk in to see their gossiping?	425
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	Not I, sir; you are my elder.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	That's a question: how shall we try it?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	We'll draw cuts for the senior: till then lead thou first.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	Nay, then, thus:
	We came into the world like brother and brother;	430
	And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another.
	Exeunt