All's Well that Ends Well

All's Well that Ends Well

ACT III SCENE VI	Camp before Florence.
	Enter BERTRAM and the two French Lords
Second Lord	Nay, good my lord, put him to't; let him have his
	way.
First Lord	If your lordship find him not a hilding, hold me no
	more in your respect.	5
Second Lord	On my life, my lord, a bubble.
BERTRAM	Do you think I am so far deceived in him?
Second Lord	Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge,
	without any malice, but to speak of him as my
	kinsman, he's a most notable coward, an infinite and	10
	endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner
	of no one good quality worthy your lordship's
	entertainment.
First Lord	It were fit you knew him; lest, reposing too far in
	his virtue, which he hath not, he might at some	15
	great and trusty business in a main danger fail you.
BERTRAM	I would I knew in what particular action to try him.
First Lord	None better than to let him fetch off his drum,
	which you hear him so confidently undertake to do.
Second Lord	I, with a troop of Florentines, will suddenly	20
	surprise him; such I will have, whom I am sure he
	knows not from the enemy: we will bind and hoodwink
	him so, that he shall suppose no other but that he
	is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries, when
	we bring him to our own tents. Be but your lordship	25
	present at his examination: if he do not, for the
	promise of his life and in the highest compulsion of
	base fear, offer to betray you and deliver all the
	intelligence in his power against you, and that with
	the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never	30
	trust my judgment in any thing.
First Lord	O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum;
	he says he has a stratagem for't: when your
	lordship sees the bottom of his success in't, and to
	what metal this counterfeit lump of ore will be	35
	melted, if you give him not John Drum's
	entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed.
	Here he comes.
	Enter PAROLLES
Second Lord	Aside to BERTRAM
	hinder not the honour of his design: let him fetch
	off his drum in any hand.	40
BERTRAM	How now, monsieur! this drum sticks sorely in your
	disposition.
First Lord	A pox on't, let it go; 'tis but a drum.
PAROLLES	'But a drum'! is't 'but a drum'? A drum so lost!
	There was excellent command,--to charge in with our	45
	horse upon our own wings, and to rend our own soldiers!
First Lord	That was not to be blamed in the command of the
	service: it was a disaster of war that Caesar
	himself could not have prevented, if he had been
	there to command.	50
BERTRAM	Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success: some
	dishonour we had in the loss of that drum; but it is
	not to be recovered.
PAROLLES	It might have been recovered.
BERTRAM	It might; but it is not now.	55
PAROLLES	It is to be recovered: but that the merit of
	service is seldom attributed to the true and exact
	performer, I would have that drum or another, or
	'hic jacet.'
BERTRAM	Why, if you have a stomach, to't, monsieur: if you	60
	think your mystery in stratagem can bring this
	instrument of honour again into his native quarter,
	be magnanimous in the enterprise and go on; I will
	grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you
	speed well in it, the duke shall both speak of it.	65
	and extend to you what further becomes his
	greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your
	worthiness.
PAROLLES	By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it.
BERTRAM	But you must not now slumber in it.	70
PAROLLES	I'll about it this evening: and I will presently
	pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my
	certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation;
	and by midnight look to hear further from me.
BERTRAM	May I be bold to acquaint his grace you are gone about it?	75
PAROLLES	I know not what the success will be, my lord; but
	the attempt I vow.
BERTRAM	I know thou'rt valiant; and, to the possibility of
	thy soldiership, will subscribe for thee. Farewell.
PAROLLES	I love not many words.	80
	Exit
Second Lord	No more than a fish loves water. Is not this a
	strange fellow, my lord, that so confidently seems
	to undertake this business, which he knows is not to
	be done; damns himself to do and dares better be
	damned than to do't?	85
First Lord	You do not know him, my lord, as we do: certain it
	is that he will steal himself into a man's favour and
	for a week escape a great deal of discoveries; but
	when you find him out, you have him ever after.
BERTRAM	Why, do you think he will make no deed at all of	90
	this that so seriously he does address himself unto?
Second Lord	None in the world; but return with an invention and
	clap upon you two or three probable lies: but we
	have almost embossed him; you shall see his fall
	to-night; for indeed he is not for your lordship's respect.	95
First Lord	We'll make you some sport with the fox ere we case
	him. He was first smoked by the old lord Lafeu:
	when his disguise and he is parted, tell me what a
	sprat you shall find him; which you shall see this
	very night.	100
Second Lord	I must go look my twigs: he shall be caught.
BERTRAM	Your brother he shall go along with me.
Second Lord	As't please your lordship: I'll leave you.
	Exit
BERTRAM	Now will I lead you to the house, and show you
	The lass I spoke of.	105
First Lord	But you say she's honest.
BERTRAM	That's all the fault: I spoke with her but once
	And found her wondrous cold; but I sent to her,
	By this same coxcomb that we have i' the wind,
	Tokens and letters which she did re-send;	110
	And this is all I have done. She's a fair creature:
	Will you go see her?
First Lord	With all my heart, my lord.
	Exeunt