As You Like It

As You Like It

ACT II SCENE VII	The forest.
	A table set out. Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, andLords like outlaws
DUKE SENIOR	I think he be transform'd into a beast;
	For I can no where find him like a man.
First Lord	My lord, he is but even now gone hence:
	Here was he merry, hearing of a song.	5
DUKE SENIOR	If he, compact of jars, grow musical,
	We shall have shortly discord in the spheres.
	Go, seek him: tell him I would speak with him.
	Enter JAQUES
First Lord	He saves my labour by his own approach.
DUKE SENIOR	Why, how now, monsieur! what a life is this,	10
	That your poor friends must woo your company?
	What, you look merrily!
JAQUES	A fool, a fool! I met a fool i' the forest,
	A motley fool; a miserable world!
	As I do live by food, I met a fool	15
	Who laid him down and bask'd him in the sun,
	And rail'd on Lady Fortune in good terms,
	In good set terms and yet a motley fool.
	'Good morrow, fool,' quoth I. 'No, sir,' quoth he,
	'Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune:'	20
	And then he drew a dial from his poke,
	And, looking on it with lack-lustre eye,
	Says very wisely, 'It is ten o'clock:
	Thus we may see,' quoth he, 'how the world wags:
	'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,	25
	And after one hour more 'twill be eleven;
	And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,
	And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;
	And thereby hangs a tale.' When I did hear
	The motley fool thus moral on the time,	30
	My lungs began to crow like chanticleer,
	That fools should be so deep-contemplative,
	And I did laugh sans intermission
	An hour by his dial. O noble fool!
	A worthy fool! Motley's the only wear.	35
DUKE SENIOR	What fool is this?
JAQUES	O worthy fool! One that hath been a courtier,
	And says, if ladies be but young and fair,
	They have the gift to know it: and in his brain,
	Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit	40
	After a voyage, he hath strange places cramm'd
	With observation, the which he vents
	In mangled forms. O that I were a fool!
	I am ambitious for a motley coat.
DUKE SENIOR	Thou shalt have one.	45
JAQUES	It is my only suit;
	Provided that you weed your better judgments
	Of all opinion that grows rank in them
	That I am wise. I must have liberty
	Withal, as large a charter as the wind,	50
	To blow on whom I please; for so fools have;
	And they that are most galled with my folly,
	They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so?
	The 'why' is plain as way to parish church:
	He that a fool doth very wisely hit	55
	Doth very foolishly, although he smart,
	Not to seem senseless of the bob: if not,
	The wise man's folly is anatomized
	Even by the squandering glances of the fool.
	Invest me in my motley; give me leave	60
	To speak my mind, and I will through and through
	Cleanse the foul body of the infected world,
	If they will patiently receive my medicine.
DUKE SENIOR	Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do.
JAQUES	What, for a counter, would I do but good?	65
DUKE SENIOR	Most mischievous foul sin, in chiding sin:
	For thou thyself hast been a libertine,
	As sensual as the brutish sting itself;
	And all the embossed sores and headed evils,
	That thou with licence of free foot hast caught,	70
	Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world.
JAQUES	Why, who cries out on pride,
	That can therein tax any private party?
	Doth it not flow as hugely as the sea,
	Till that the weary very means do ebb?	75
	What woman in the city do I name,
	When that I say the city-woman bears
	The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?
	Who can come in and say that I mean her,
	When such a one as she such is her neighbour?	80
	Or what is he of basest function
	That says his bravery is not of my cost,
	Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits
	His folly to the mettle of my speech?
	There then; how then? what then? Let me see wherein	85
	My tongue hath wrong'd him: if it do him right,
	Then he hath wrong'd himself; if he be free,
	Why then my taxing like a wild-goose flies,
	Unclaim'd of any man. But who comes here?
	Enter ORLANDO, with his sword drawn
ORLANDO	Forbear, and eat no more.	90
JAQUES	Why, I have eat none yet.
ORLANDO	Nor shalt not, till necessity be served.
JAQUES	Of what kind should this cock come of?
DUKE SENIOR	Art thou thus bolden'd, man, by thy distress,
	Or else a rude despiser of good manners,	95
	That in civility thou seem'st so empty?
ORLANDO	You touch'd my vein at first: the thorny point
	Of bare distress hath ta'en from me the show
	Of smooth civility: yet am I inland bred
	And know some nurture. But forbear, I say:	100
	He dies that touches any of this fruit
	Till I and my affairs are answered.
JAQUES	An you will not be answered with reason, I must die.
DUKE SENIOR	What would you have? Your gentleness shall force
	More than your force move us to gentleness.	105
ORLANDO	I almost die for food; and let me have it.
DUKE SENIOR	Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.
ORLANDO	Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you:
	I thought that all things had been savage here;
	And therefore put I on the countenance	110
	Of stern commandment. But whate'er you are
	That in this desert inaccessible,
	Under the shade of melancholy boughs,
	Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time
	If ever you have look'd on better days,	115
	If ever been where bells have knoll'd to church,
	If ever sat at any good man's feast,
	If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear
	And know what 'tis to pity and be pitied,
	Let gentleness my strong enforcement be:	120
	In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword.
DUKE SENIOR	True is it that we have seen better days,
	And have with holy bell been knoll'd to church
	And sat at good men's feasts and wiped our eyes
	Of drops that sacred pity hath engender'd:	125
	And therefore sit you down in gentleness
	And take upon command what help we have
	That to your wanting may be minister'd.
ORLANDO	Then but forbear your food a little while,
	Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn	130
	And give it food. There is an old poor man,
	Who after me hath many a weary step
	Limp'd in pure love: till he be first sufficed,
	Oppress'd with two weak evils, age and hunger,
	I will not touch a bit.	135
DUKE SENIOR	Go find him out,
	And we will nothing waste till you return.
ORLANDO	I thank ye; and be blest for your good comfort!
	Exit
DUKE SENIOR	Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy:
	This wide and universal theatre	140
	Presents more woeful pageants than the scene
	Wherein we play in.
JAQUES	All the world's a stage,
	And all the men and women merely players:
	They have their exits and their entrances;	145
	And one man in his time plays many parts,
	His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
	Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
	And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
	And shining morning face, creeping like snail	150
	Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
	Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
	Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
	Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
	Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,	155
	Seeking the bubble reputation
	Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
	In fair round belly with good capon lined,
	With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
	Full of wise saws and modern instances;	160
	And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
	Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
	With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
	His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
	For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,	165
	Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
	And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
	That ends this strange eventful history,
	Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
	Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.	170
	Re-enter ORLANDO, with ADAM
DUKE SENIOR	Welcome. Set down your venerable burthen,
	And let him feed.
ORLANDO	I thank you most for him.
ADAM	So had you need:
	I scarce can speak to thank you for myself.	175
DUKE SENIOR	Welcome; fall to: I will not trouble you
	As yet, to question you about your fortunes.
	Give us some music; and, good cousin, sing.

	SONG.	180
AMIENS	Blow, blow, thou winter wind.
	Thou art not so unkind
	As man's ingratitude;
	Thy tooth is not so keen,
	Because thou art not seen,	185
	Although thy breath be rude.
	Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:
	Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
	Then, heigh-ho, the holly!
	This life is most jolly.	190
	Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
	That dost not bite so nigh
	As benefits forgot:
	Though thou the waters warp,
	Thy sting is not so sharp	195
	As friend remember'd not.
	Heigh-ho! sing, &c.
DUKE SENIOR	If that you were the good Sir Rowland's son,
	As you have whisper'd faithfully you were,
	And as mine eye doth his effigies witness	200
	Most truly limn'd and living in your face,
	Be truly welcome hither: I am the duke
	That loved your father: the residue of your fortune,
	Go to my cave and tell me. Good old man,
	Thou art right welcome as thy master is.	205
	Support him by the arm. Give me your hand,
	And let me all your fortunes understand.
	Exeunt