As You Like It

As You Like It

ACT I SCENE III	A room in the palace.
	Enter CELIA and ROSALIND
CELIA	Why, cousin! why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy! not a word?
ROSALIND	Not one to throw at a dog.
CELIA	No, thy words are too precious to be cast away upon
	curs; throw some of them at me; come, lame me with reasons.	5
ROSALIND	Then there were two cousins laid up; when the one
	should be lamed with reasons and the other mad
	without any.
CELIA	But is all this for your father?
ROSALIND	No, some of it is for my child's father. O, how	10
	full of briers is this working-day world!
CELIA	They are but burs, cousin, thrown upon thee in
	holiday foolery: if we walk not in the trodden
	paths our very petticoats will catch them.
ROSALIND	I could shake them off my coat: these burs are in my heart.	15
CELIA	Hem them away.
ROSALIND	I would try, if I could cry 'hem' and have him.
CELIA	Come, come, wrestle with thy affections.
ROSALIND	O, they take the part of a better wrestler than myself!
CELIA	O, a good wish upon you! you will try in time, in	20
	despite of a fall. But, turning these jests out of
	service, let us talk in good earnest: is it
	possible, on such a sudden, you should fall into so
	strong a liking with old Sir Rowland's youngest son?
ROSALIND	The duke my father loved his father dearly.	25
CELIA	Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son
	dearly? By this kind of chase, I should hate him,
	for my father hated his father dearly; yet I hate
	not Orlando.
ROSALIND	No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.	30
CELIA	Why should I not? doth he not deserve well?
ROSALIND	Let me love him for that, and do you love him
	because I do. Look, here comes the duke.
CELIA	With his eyes full of anger.
	Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with Lords
DUKE FREDERICK	Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste	35
	And get you from our court.
ROSALIND	Me, uncle?
DUKE FREDERICK	You, cousin
	Within these ten days if that thou be'st found
	So near our public court as twenty miles,	40
	Thou diest for it.
ROSALIND	I do beseech your grace,
	Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me:
	If with myself I hold intelligence
	Or have acquaintance with mine own desires,	45
	If that I do not dream or be not frantic,--
	As I do trust I am not--then, dear uncle,
	Never so much as in a thought unborn
	Did I offend your highness.
DUKE FREDERICK	Thus do all traitors:	50
	If their purgation did consist in words,
	They are as innocent as grace itself:
	Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not.
ROSALIND	Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor:
	Tell me whereon the likelihood depends.	55
DUKE FREDERICK	Thou art thy father's daughter; there's enough.
ROSALIND	So was I when your highness took his dukedom;
	So was I when your highness banish'd him:
	Treason is not inherited, my lord;
	Or, if we did derive it from our friends,	60
	What's that to me? my father was no traitor:
	Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much
	To think my poverty is treacherous.
CELIA	Dear sovereign, hear me speak.
DUKE FREDERICK	Ay, Celia; we stay'd her for your sake,	65
	Else had she with her father ranged along.
CELIA	I did not then entreat to have her stay;
	It was your pleasure and your own remorse:
	I was too young that time to value her;
	But now I know her: if she be a traitor,	70
	Why so am I; we still have slept together,
	Rose at an instant, learn'd, play'd, eat together,
	And wheresoever we went, like Juno's swans,
	Still we went coupled and inseparable.
DUKE FREDERICK	She is too subtle for thee; and her smoothness,	75
	Her very silence and her patience
	Speak to the people, and they pity her.
	Thou art a fool: she robs thee of thy name;
	And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous
	When she is gone. Then open not thy lips:	80
	Firm and irrevocable is my doom
	Which I have pass'd upon her; she is banish'd.
CELIA	Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege:
	I cannot live out of her company.
DUKE FREDERICK	You are a fool. You, niece, provide yourself:	85
	If you outstay the time, upon mine honour,
	And in the greatness of my word, you die.
	Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK and Lords
CELIA	O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go?
	Wilt thou change fathers? I will give thee mine.
	I charge thee, be not thou more grieved than I am.	90
ROSALIND	I have more cause.
CELIA	Thou hast not, cousin;
	Prithee be cheerful: know'st thou not, the duke
	Hath banish'd me, his daughter?
ROSALIND	That he hath not.	95
CELIA	No, hath not? Rosalind lacks then the love
	Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one:
	Shall we be sunder'd? shall we part, sweet girl?
	No: let my father seek another heir.
	Therefore devise with me how we may fly,	100
	Whither to go and what to bear with us;
	And do not seek to take your change upon you,
	To bear your griefs yourself and leave me out;
	For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale,
	Say what thou canst, I'll go along with thee.	105
ROSALIND	Why, whither shall we go?
CELIA	To seek my uncle in the forest of Arden.
ROSALIND	Alas, what danger will it be to us,
	Maids as we are, to travel forth so far!
	Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.	110
CELIA	I'll put myself in poor and mean attire
	And with a kind of umber smirch my face;
	The like do you: so shall we pass along
	And never stir assailants.
ROSALIND	Were it not better,	115
	Because that I am more than common tall,
	That I did suit me all points like a man?
	A gallant curtle-axe upon my thigh,
	A boar-spear in my hand; and--in my heart
	Lie there what hidden woman's fear there will--	120
	We'll have a swashing and a martial outside,
	As many other mannish cowards have
	That do outface it with their semblances.
CELIA	What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
ROSALIND	I'll have no worse a name than Jove's own page;	125
	And therefore look you call me Ganymede.
	But what will you be call'd?
CELIA	Something that hath a reference to my state
	No longer Celia, but Aliena.
ROSALIND	But, cousin, what if we assay'd to steal	130
	The clownish fool out of your father's court?
	Would he not be a comfort to our travel?
CELIA	He'll go along o'er the wide world with me;
	Leave me alone to woo him. Let's away,
	And get our jewels and our wealth together,	135
	Devise the fittest time and safest way
	To hide us from pursuit that will be made
	After my flight. Now go we in content
	To liberty and not to banishment.
	Exeunt