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   King Henry IV, Part II
ACT V SCENE III Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S orchard. 
 Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE, DAVY, BARDOLPH,and the Page 
SHALLOW Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour, 
 we will eat a last year's pippin of my own graffing, 
 with a dish of caraways, and so forth: come, 
 cousin Silence: and then to bed. 5
FALSTAFF 'Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and a rich. 
SHALLOW Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all, 
 Sir John: marry, good air. Spread, Davy; spread, 
 Davy; well said, Davy. 
FALSTAFF This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your 10
 serving-man and your husband. 
SHALLOW A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, 
 Sir John: by the mass, I have drunk too much sack 
 at supper: a good varlet. Now sit down, now sit 
 down: come, cousin. 15
SILENCE Ah, sirrah! quoth-a, we shall 
 Do nothing but eat, and make good cheer, 
 Singing 
 And praise God for the merry year; 
 When flesh is cheap and females dear, 
 And lusty lads roam here and there 20
 So merrily, 
 And ever among so merrily. 
FALSTAFF There's a merry heart! Good Master Silence, I'll 
 give you a health for that anon. 
SHALLOW Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy. 25
DAVY Sweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon. most sweet 
 sir, sit. Master page, good master page, sit. 
 Proface! What you want in meat, we'll have in drink: 
 but you must bear; the heart's all. 
 Exit 
SHALLOW Be merry, Master Bardolph; and, my little soldier 30
 there, be merry. 
SILENCE Be merry, be merry, my wife has all; 
 Singing 
 For women are shrews, both short and tall: 
 'Tis merry in hall when beards wag all, 
 And welcome merry Shrove-tide. 35
 Be merry, be merry. 
FALSTAFF I did not think Master Silence had been a man of 
 this mettle. 
SILENCE Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now. 
 Re-enter DAVY 
DAVY There's a dish of leather-coats for you. 40
 To BARDOLPH 
SHALLOW Davy! 
DAVY Your worship! I'll be with you straight. 
 To BARDOLPH 
 A cup of wine, sir? 
SILENCE A cup of wine that's brisk and fine, 
 Singing 
 And drink unto the leman mine; 45
 And a merry heart lives long-a. 
FALSTAFF Well said, Master Silence. 
SILENCE An we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o' the night. 
FALSTAFF Health and long life to you, Master Silence. 
SILENCE Fill the cup, and let it come; 50
 Singing 
 I'll pledge you a mile to the bottom. 
SHALLOW Honest Bardolph, welcome: if thou wantest any 
 thing, and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. 
 Welcome, my little tiny thief. 
 To the Page 
 And welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master 55
 Bardolph, and to all the cavaleros about London. 
DAVY I hove to see London once ere I die. 
BARDOLPH An I might see you there, Davy,-- 
SHALLOW By the mass, you'll crack a quart together, ha! 
 Will you not, Master Bardolph? 60
BARDOLPH Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot. 
SHALLOW By God's liggens, I thank thee: the knave will 
 stick by thee, I can assure thee that. A' will not 
 out; he is true bred. 
BARDOLPH And I'll stick by him, sir. 65
SHALLOW Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing: be merry. 
 Knocking within 
 Look who's at door there, ho! who knocks? 
 Exit DAVY 
FALSTAFF Why, now you have done me right. 
 To SILENCE, seeing him take off a bumper 
SILENCE Singing 
 Do me right, 
 And dub me knight: Samingo. 70
 Is't not so? 
FALSTAFF 'Tis so. 
SILENCE Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat. 
 Re-enter DAVY 
DAVY An't please your worship, there's one Pistol come 
 from the court with news. 75
FALSTAFF From the court! let him come in. 
 Enter PISTOL 
 How now, Pistol! 
PISTOL Sir John, God save you! 
FALSTAFF What wind blew you hither, Pistol? 
PISTOL Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet 80
 knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm. 
SILENCE By'r lady, I think a' be, but goodman Puff of Barson. 
PISTOL Puff! 
 Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base! 
 Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend, 85
 And helter-skelter have I rode to thee, 
 And tidings do I bring and lucky joys 
 And golden times and happy news of price. 
FALSTAFF I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this world. 
PISTOL A foutre for the world and worldlings base! 90
 I speak of Africa and golden joys. 
FALSTAFF O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news? 
 Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof. 
SILENCE And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John. 
 Singing 
PISTOL Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons? 95
 And shall good news be baffled? 
 Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap. 
SILENCE Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding. 
PISTOL Why then, lament therefore. 
SHALLOW Give me pardon, sir: if, sir, you come with news 100
 from the court, I take it there's but two ways, 
 either to utter them, or to conceal them. I am, 
 sir, under the king, in some authority. 
PISTOL Under which king, Besonian? speak, or die. 
SHALLOW Under King Harry. 105
PISTOL Harry the Fourth? or Fifth? 
SHALLOW Harry the Fourth. 
PISTOL A foutre for thine office! 
 Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king; 
 Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth: 110
 When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like 
 The bragging Spaniard. 
FALSTAFF What, is the old king dead? 
PISTOL As nail in door: the things I speak are just. 
FALSTAFF Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert 115
 Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land, 
 'tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities. 
BARDOLPH O joyful day! 
 I would not take a knighthood for my fortune. 
PISTOL What! I do bring good news. 120
FALSTAFF Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my 
 Lord Shallow,--be what thou wilt; I am fortune's 
 steward--get on thy boots: we'll ride all night. 
 O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph! 
 Exit BARDOLPH 
 Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal devise 125
 something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master 
 Shallow: I know the young king is sick for me. Let 
 us take any man's horses; the laws of England are at 
 my commandment. Blessed are they that have been my 
 friends; and woe to my lord chief-justice! 130
PISTOL Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also! 
 'Where is the life that late I led?' say they: 
 Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days! 
 Exeunt 


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