King Henry IV, Part I

King Henry IV, Part I

ACT III SCENE I	Bangor. The Archdeacon's house.
	Enter HOTSPUR, WORCESTER, MORTIMER, and GLENDOWER
MORTIMER	These promises are fair, the parties sure,
	And our induction full of prosperous hope.
HOTSPUR	Lord Mortimer, and cousin Glendower,
	Will you sit down?	5
	And uncle Worcester: a plague upon it!
	I have forgot the map.
GLENDOWER	No, here it is.
	Sit, cousin Percy; sit, good cousin Hotspur,
	For by that name as oft as Lancaster	10
	Doth speak of you, his cheek looks pale and with
	A rising sigh he wisheth you in heaven.
HOTSPUR	And you in hell, as oft as he hears Owen Glendower spoke of.
GLENDOWER	I cannot blame him: at my nativity
	The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes,	15
	Of burning cressets; and at my birth
	The frame and huge foundation of the earth
	Shaked like a coward.
HOTSPUR	Why, so it would have done at the same season, if
	your mother's cat had but kittened, though yourself	20
	had never been born.
GLENDOWER	I say the earth did shake when I was born.
HOTSPUR	And I say the earth was not of my mind,
	If you suppose as fearing you it shook.
GLENDOWER	The heavens were all on fire, the earth did tremble.	25
HOTSPUR	O, then the earth shook to see the heavens on fire,
	And not in fear of your nativity.
	Diseased nature oftentimes breaks forth
	In strange eruptions; oft the teeming earth
	Is with a kind of colic pinch'd and vex'd	30
	By the imprisoning of unruly wind
	Within her womb; which, for enlargement striving,
	Shakes the old beldam earth and topples down
	Steeples and moss-grown towers. At your birth
	Our grandam earth, having this distemperature,	35
	In passion shook.
GLENDOWER	Cousin, of many men
	I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave
	To tell you once again that at my birth
	The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes,	40
	The goats ran from the mountains, and the herds
	Were strangely clamorous to the frighted fields.
	These signs have mark'd me extraordinary;
	And all the courses of my life do show
	I am not in the roll of common men.	45
	Where is he living, clipp'd in with the sea
	That chides the banks of England, Scotland, Wales,
	Which calls me pupil, or hath read to me?
	And bring him out that is but woman's son
	Can trace me in the tedious ways of art	50
	And hold me pace in deep experiments.
HOTSPUR	I think there's no man speaks better Welsh.
	I'll to dinner.
MORTIMER	Peace, cousin Percy; you will make him mad.
GLENDOWER	I can call spirits from the vasty deep.	55
HOTSPUR	Why, so can I, or so can any man;
	But will they come when you do call for them?
GLENDOWER	Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command
	The devil.
HOTSPUR	And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil	60
	By telling truth: tell truth and shame the devil.
	If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither,
	And I'll be sworn I have power to shame him hence.
	O, while you live, tell truth and shame the devil!
MORTIMER	Come, come, no more of this unprofitable chat.	65
GLENDOWER	Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made head
	Against my power; thrice from the banks of Wye
	And sandy-bottom'd Severn have I sent him
	Bootless home and weather-beaten back.
HOTSPUR	Home without boots, and in foul weather too!	70
	How 'scapes he agues, in the devil's name?
GLENDOWER	Come, here's the map: shall we divide our right
	According to our threefold order ta'en?
MORTIMER	The archdeacon hath divided it
	Into three limits very equally:	75
	England, from Trent and Severn hitherto,
	By south and east is to my part assign'd:
	All westward, Wales beyond the Severn shore,
	And all the fertile land within that bound,
	To Owen Glendower: and, dear coz, to you	80
	The remnant northward, lying off from Trent.
	And our indentures tripartite are drawn;
	Which being sealed interchangeably,
	A business that this night may execute,
	To-morrow, cousin Percy, you and I	85
	And my good Lord of Worcester will set forth
	To meet your father and the Scottish power,
	As is appointed us, at Shrewsbury.
	My father Glendower is not ready yet,
	Not shall we need his help these fourteen days.	90
	Within that space you may have drawn together
	Your tenants, friends and neighbouring gentlemen.
GLENDOWER	A shorter time shall send me to you, lords:
	And in my conduct shall your ladies come;
	From whom you now must steal and take no leave,	95
	For there will be a world of water shed
	Upon the parting of your wives and you.
HOTSPUR	Methinks my moiety, north from Burton here,
	In quantity equals not one of yours:
	See how this river comes me cranking in,	100
	And cuts me from the best of all my land
	A huge half-moon, a monstrous cantle out.
	I'll have the current in this place damm'd up;
	And here the smug and silver Trent shall run
	In a new channel, fair and evenly;	105
	It shall not wind with such a deep indent,
	To rob me of so rich a bottom here.
GLENDOWER	Not wind? it shall, it must; you see it doth.
MORTIMER	Yea, but
	Mark how he bears his course, and runs me up	110
	With like advantage on the other side;
	Gelding the opposed continent as much
	As on the other side it takes from you.
EARL OF WORCESTER	Yea, but a little charge will trench him here
	And on this north side win this cape of land;	115
	And then he runs straight and even.
HOTSPUR	I'll have it so: a little charge will do it.
GLENDOWER	I'll not have it alter'd.
HOTSPUR	Will not you?
GLENDOWER	No, nor you shall not.	120
HOTSPUR	Who shall say me nay?
GLENDOWER	Why, that will I.
HOTSPUR	Let me not understand you, then; speak it in Welsh.
GLENDOWER	I can speak English, lord, as well as you;
	For I was train'd up in the English court;	125
	Where, being but young, I framed to the harp
	Many an English ditty lovely well
	And gave the tongue a helpful ornament,
	A virtue that was never seen in you.
HOTSPUR	Marry,	130
	And I am glad of it with all my heart:
	I had rather be a kitten and cry mew
	Than one of these same metre ballad-mongers;
	I had rather hear a brazen canstick turn'd,
	Or a dry wheel grate on the axle-tree;	135
	And that would set my teeth nothing on edge,
	Nothing so much as mincing poetry:
	'Tis like the forced gait of a shuffling nag.
GLENDOWER	Come, you shall have Trent turn'd.
HOTSPUR	I do not care: I'll give thrice so much land	140
	To any well-deserving friend;
	But in the way of bargain, mark ye me,
	I'll cavil on the ninth part of a hair.
	Are the indentures drawn? shall we be gone?
GLENDOWER	The moon shines fair; you may away by night:	145
	I'll haste the writer and withal
	Break with your wives of your departure hence:
	I am afraid my daughter will run mad,
	So much she doteth on her Mortimer.
	Exit GLENDOWER
MORTIMER	Fie, cousin Percy! how you cross my father!	150
HOTSPUR	I cannot choose: sometime he angers me
	With telling me of the mouldwarp and the ant,
	Of the dreamer Merlin and his prophecies,
	And of a dragon and a finless fish,
	A clip-wing'd griffin and a moulten raven,	155
	A couching lion and a ramping cat,
	And such a deal of skimble-skamble stuff
	As puts me from my faith. I tell you what;
	He held me last night at least nine hours
	In reckoning up the several devils' names	160
	That were his lackeys: I cried 'hum,' and 'well, go to,'
	But mark'd him not a word. O, he is as tedious
	As a tired horse, a railing wife;
	Worse than a smoky house: I had rather live
	With cheese and garlic in a windmill, far,	165
	Than feed on cates and have him talk to me
	In any summer-house in Christendom.
MORTIMER	In faith, he is a worthy gentleman,
	Exceedingly well read, and profited
	In strange concealments, valiant as a lion	170
	And as wondrous affable and as bountiful
	As mines of India. Shall I tell you, cousin?
	He holds your temper in a high respect
	And curbs himself even of his natural scope
	When you come 'cross his humour; faith, he does:	175
	I warrant you, that man is not alive
	Might so have tempted him as you have done,
	Without the taste of danger and reproof:
	But do not use it oft, let me entreat you.
EARL OF WORCESTER	In faith, my lord, you are too wilful-blame;	180
	And since your coming hither have done enough
	To put him quite beside his patience.
	You must needs learn, lord, to amend this fault:
	Though sometimes it show greatness, courage, blood,--
	And that's the dearest grace it renders you,--	185
	Yet oftentimes it doth present harsh rage,
	Defect of manners, want of government,
	Pride, haughtiness, opinion and disdain:
	The least of which haunting a nobleman
	Loseth men's hearts and leaves behind a stain	190
	Upon the beauty of all parts besides,
	Beguiling them of commendation.
HOTSPUR	Well, I am school'd: good manners be your speed!
	Here come our wives, and let us take our leave.
	Re-enter GLENDOWER with the ladies
MORTIMER	This is the deadly spite that angers me;	195
	My wife can speak no English, I no Welsh.
GLENDOWER	My daughter weeps: she will not part with you;
	She'll be a soldier too, she'll to the wars.
MORTIMER	Good father, tell her that she and my aunt Percy
	Shall follow in your conduct speedily.	200
	Glendower speaks to her in Welsh, and sheanswers him in the same
GLENDOWER	She is desperate here; a peevish self-wind harlotry,
	one that no persuasion can do good upon.
	The lady speaks in Welsh
MORTIMER	I understand thy looks: that pretty Welsh
	Which thou pour'st down from these swelling heavens
	I am too perfect in; and, but for shame,	205
	In such a parley should I answer thee.
	The lady speaks again in Welsh
	I understand thy kisses and thou mine,
	And that's a feeling disputation:
	But I will never be a truant, love,
	Till I have learned thy language; for thy tongue	210
	Makes Welsh as sweet as ditties highly penn'd,
	Sung by a fair queen in a summer's bower,
	With ravishing division, to her lute.
GLENDOWER	Nay, if you melt, then will she run mad.
	The lady speaks again in Welsh
MORTIMER	O, I am ignorance itself in this!	215
GLENDOWER	She bids you on the wanton rushes lay you down
	And rest your gentle head upon her lap,
	And she will sing the song that pleaseth you
	And on your eyelids crown the god of sleep.
	Charming your blood with pleasing heaviness,	220
	Making such difference 'twixt wake and sleep
	As is the difference betwixt day and night
	The hour before the heavenly-harness'd team
	Begins his golden progress in the east.
MORTIMER	With all my heart I'll sit and hear her sing:	225
	By that time will our book, I think, be drawn
GLENDOWER	Do so;
	And those musicians that shall play to you
	Hang in the air a thousand leagues from hence,
	And straight they shall be here: sit, and attend.	230
HOTSPUR	Come, Kate, thou art perfect in lying down: come,
	quick, quick, that I may lay my head in thy lap.
LADY PERCY	Go, ye giddy goose.
	The music plays
HOTSPUR	Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh;
	And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.	235
	By'r lady, he is a good musician.
LADY PERCY	Then should you be nothing but musical for you are
	altogether governed by humours. Lie still, ye thief,
	and hear the lady sing in Welsh.
HOTSPUR	I had rather hear Lady, my brach, howl in Irish.	240
LADY PERCY	Wouldst thou have thy head broken?
HOTSPUR	No.
LADY PERCY	Then be still.
HOTSPUR	Neither;'tis a woman's fault.
LADY PERCY	Now God help thee!	245
HOTSPUR	To the Welsh lady's bed.
LADY PERCY	What's that?
HOTSPUR	Peace! she sings.
	Here the lady sings a Welsh song
HOTSPUR	Come, Kate, I'll have your song too.
LADY PERCY	Not mine, in good sooth.	250
HOTSPUR	Not yours, in good sooth! Heart! you swear like a
	comfit-maker's wife. 'Not you, in good sooth,' and
	'as true as I live,' and 'as God shall mend me,' and
	'as sure as day,'
	And givest such sarcenet surety for thy oaths,	255
	As if thou never walk'st further than Finsbury.
	Swear me, Kate, like a lady as thou art,
	A good mouth-filling oath, and leave 'in sooth,'
	And such protest of pepper-gingerbread,
	To velvet-guards and Sunday-citizens.	260
	Come, sing.
LADY PERCY	I will not sing.
HOTSPUR	'Tis the next way to turn tailor, or be red-breast
	teacher. An the indentures be drawn, I'll away
	within these two hours; and so, come in when ye will.	265
	Exit
GLENDOWER	Come, come, Lord Mortimer; you are as slow
	As hot Lord Percy is on fire to go.
	By this our book is drawn; we'll but seal,
	And then to horse immediately.
MORTIMER	With all my heart.	270
	Exeunt